imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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