the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
