Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
