Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
