Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I am puke
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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