Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
