is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing