Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!