I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So vagazzling was a success
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
