he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
