Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.

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  (313): you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones. http://tfl.nu/7zc6
  Replies (3) Good night (4375) Bad night (850)
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  (518): View more from New York

  The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?

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  (518): The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right? http://tfl.nu/odtd
  Replies (25) Good night (10210) Bad night (690)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.

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  (469): I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed. http://tfl.nu/fhfj
  Replies (33) Good night (6080) Bad night (1055)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."

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  (904): I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear." http://tfl.nu/t3d7
  Replies (4) Good night (3971) Bad night (1209)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers

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  (617): i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers http://tfl.nu/ovgd
  Replies (23) Good night (974) Bad night (4699)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.

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  (610): I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity. http://tfl.nu/4je5
  Replies (9) Good night (5080) Bad night (923)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew

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  (727): Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew http://tfl.nu/e4qx
  Replies (6) Good night (2436) Bad night (989)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.

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  (443): She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/dqlg
  Replies (6) Good night (2744) Bad night (582)
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  (646): View more from New York

  still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious

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  (646): still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious http://tfl.nu/u252
  Replies (4) Good night (709) Bad night (1597)
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  (562): View more from California

  I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?

  (714): View more from California

  Whatever it is you failed

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  (562): I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean? (714): Whatever it is you failed http://tfl.nu/fjub
  Replies (10) Good night (961) Bad night (1923)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.

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  (203): Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it. http://tfl.nu/pgje
  Replies (10) Good night (1279) Bad night (637)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.

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  (506): Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/xgvx
  Replies (8) Good night (658) Bad night (1210)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.

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  (540): I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end. http://tfl.nu/cc0x
  Replies (4) Good night (1225) Bad night (318)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."

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  (973): Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel." http://tfl.nu/he4q
  Replies (2) Good night (670) Bad night (311)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens

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  (+61): So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens http://tfl.nu/ihud
  Replies (3) Good night (499) Bad night (491)

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