i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
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