I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
