You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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