He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
