Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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