I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
