i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
