Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
