I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
