would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
