He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
