the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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