My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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