My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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