do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
