So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
