I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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