I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
