I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just found puke in my bra..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
