So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
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You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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