Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
