so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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