So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize