we're chasing vodka with high fives
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
