I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
