i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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