i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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