So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
