Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
