I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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