I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
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Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
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Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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