i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
