I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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