can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
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