i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
