I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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