I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
