It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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