HIV tests are more positive than that guy
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The chlamydia really affected his face.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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