Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
