is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
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he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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