Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Did we literally take a cab across the street
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
