And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
