I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
