He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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