Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
