Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize