I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
