we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
