So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
