The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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