Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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