He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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