shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
