I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize