I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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