eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
