I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
