he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
