So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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