this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Iβm sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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