It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Dicks are not precious.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
