I heard we made out
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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