Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
